tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12952702477058859252024-03-04T23:21:09.323-08:00a great big canvas"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can." ~Danny Kayechels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-38109238086267334612018-04-14T19:14:00.001-07:002018-04-14T19:14:57.367-07:00NEW MINECRAFT BOOK CRASHES MY GAME!!!!! [#12]<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YoF7gke-ji8" width="480"></iframe>chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-66412762090495484592018-03-07T15:11:00.002-08:002018-03-07T15:40:19.196-08:00silence<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She woke up alone and uncomfortable, again. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The dark of a day before it begins shining through her window. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Sleep is often escaping these days. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Her belly and the baby inside it make difficult to roll over and get up. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Yet, </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">she rises, </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">slowly, </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">to her feet. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Down the stairs and out of the door she sees him. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The same wrought iron chair she has found him in many pre-dawns before. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This time, like most times, she just watches, feeling the familiar sinking of sadness. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The weight of unasked and unanswered questions heavy inside her. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Uncomfortable and alone she climbs the stairs, returning to the covers that warm her and the silence she's grown</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> accustomed to. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Even with the fullness of life inside her, she has never felt so alone.</span></span></div>
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chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-2898380987575525432018-03-07T14:17:00.000-08:002018-03-07T15:39:58.745-08:00Dear Universe<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Yesterday I asked for a favor, from the Universe. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I opened myself up to the World, I let go, and I asked to be shown what is in my highest interest. I relinquished my control, and asked for a sign. My bargain was that I would be open, I would be willing, and that I would pay attention.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Later in the day I received an email from <a href="https://www.creativeoasiscoaching.com/?utm_source=Alternatives%20To%20Cat%20Videos%20%3A%29%20%281-31-18%29&utm_campaign=MWOM%20%23219%281%2F31%2F18%29&utm_medium=email" target="_blank">Creative Oasis</a>. These weekly emails are always read and often pushed aside. This particular email explained a Creative Color Walk. Images in an assortment of reds filled the page along with the description of her Color walk. She chose red and walked about, paying attention, and photogr</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">aphing all things of her color.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">|</span><b style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Paying attention</b><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">.|</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The Universe provided me something that I was meant to see, and today I was willing to see it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Here is my Color Walk in images. I chose white.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPhZmbNPX9YPpYGdCZfjFo92LewRkEcj-KUsGyo3GxnC9DCJIMd2eUnnbfv7MnfXLybXb3yec5d3KJLGRlGMVntKNDXJCudViMQUl5HJ-KvE1Td2Cl26R-dSC_kUzpIL2gVVLYNqkyVaW/s1600/white+image+7.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPhZmbNPX9YPpYGdCZfjFo92LewRkEcj-KUsGyo3GxnC9DCJIMd2eUnnbfv7MnfXLybXb3yec5d3KJLGRlGMVntKNDXJCudViMQUl5HJ-KvE1Td2Cl26R-dSC_kUzpIL2gVVLYNqkyVaW/s320/white+image+7.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">And, as it turns out white contains all wavelengths of visible light, encompasses all color, symbolizes beginnings and renewal, purity and innocence. I chose white not because of those things, white chose me because of them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I've been on what I am going to lovingly refer to as a Search for my Creative Soul; for my Self, for a while now. Once I was ready to take physical steps 'into' this journey (last year) I took my first creative class led by the <a href="https://www.creativeoasiscoaching.com/" target="_blank">Creative Oasis</a>, where I learned that there is always time that can be borrowed, and that self care is necessary, not shameful. I am currently taking a course on <a href="http://juliacameronlive.com/" target="_blank">The Artist's Way by Julie Cameron</a> called <a href="http://studioartsdallas.com/classes-and-camps/fall-spring/adult/" target="_blank">Creating with Heart</a> which is teaching and inspiring me to open myself up,to do the work, and to be brave. I am also half way through a 12 week <a href="https://www.arapahoumc.org/event-calendar/the-enneagram-journey-class-begins" target="_blank">Enneagram Journey</a> class which is helping me become a more healthy Helper. All that to say that doing the work, trusting the process, and opening myself up to the Universe is what has provided me creative ideas and has led me back to writing; something that I love and have missed so.</span><br />
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<br />chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-54007272366419648642017-10-19T18:42:00.002-07:002017-10-20T07:25:43.483-07:00#metooToday I sat with a woman, forty-some-odd years my elder, and heard her story. A story even her late husband never knew. A story rooted in immense shame carried both deep within her and on her sleeve. With tears laying low in her eyes she begins by telling me how touched she has been by the media stories of #metoo. Then, almost abruptly, she laughed a bit, adding that 'it's about time'. Continuing, she dryly explained to me how no woman up spoke "in her day".<br />
Silence sits between us for a minute as she wrangles with what, and how much of her story she should tell. As her friend, I listen to her silence. Then I hear her words, words about a man, the president of a large company she worked for, abusing her repeatedly, forcefully kissing her in an elevator, the brief descent dominated by his agenda and her fear.<br />
Stories began to piggy back each other. The next, of Christmas gifts given to female workers year after year, but given only to the ones who kissed the boss. An instance she witnessed a co-worker being yanked behind the door of his office, and the "of course" scoff she received from the other co-worker whom she asked "has he ever come on to you?" That was the reaction of the only person she ever dared to ask, and until now the only person she dared to tell. Another scene was set on the street corner where an artist asked her to lunch. A lunch where The Artist used all of his persuasion, aside from brute force, to take her back to his hotel. I watched her as I listened, seeing her mull over all the other times, one leading to another in her head, as she combed through them all.<br />
Then, a tear fell. Only one, quickly wiped away, and immediately followed by; "I was so dumb. So young."<br />
After saying the only response I knew to say: "I am so sorry you had to go through all of that", she explained that "that's just the way it was, we were all afraid to talk, we were afraid they would take everything away from us."<br />
I hugged her.<br />
I hugged the most independent, outspoken, and self reliant woman I've ever known, and she let me.<br />
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When so many brave people posted #metoo, I didn't.<br />
I felt undeserving. Although I hadn't yet heard her story, I felt that I was undeserving of #metoo because I never had it 'as bad as she did'. After all, she deserves to say that statement, to feel the connection and community of all the others that deserved the same, the ones who also had it 'that bad.'<br />
Not me.<br />
But, that's not true. That is simply a perpetuation of the cultural and world wide problem of sexism and abuse that exists. I, because of my conditioning, don't immediately see the truth that was sexual harassment for me. That 'friend' who reached his hand up my skirt uninvited, the young man that forced himself inside my car and inches from my face demanding I kiss him, the countless lewd comments thrown my way in countless situations, the seemingly unintended advances, all of those things deserve my #metoo, because they are all wrong, and demeaning, and discriminatory, and vulgar, hurtful, egotistical, and belittling. I am so very thankful that I didn't 'have it worse', but I was indeed missing the point. The point is that there is such a deep injustice against women, and one that so deeply needs a voice, many voices from all stories, to speak up and out against it. <br />
My generation; two removed from hers, has made progress. Progress because of the brave women who stood and spoke and fought before me. I am so thankful for those women and for the women now who are moving forward and outward. And to all of the women, and minorities, and bullied, and abused, lets keep speaking up and out. Lets see what we can do.<br />
<br />chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-82433303302641983752016-03-15T20:47:00.000-07:002017-10-20T07:28:17.602-07:00wordsmy husband and i joke about my exorbitant knowledge of song lyrics. in all honesty, i do often catch myself off guard with my accurate sing-a-long ability.<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
'how do i know these words'?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
'where did that come from'?</div>
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i have spent the last few years discovering things about myself which have always made up my being yet have never been acknowledged, by me. and... let me just say how liberating it is. my process has been little by little, and the overwhelming feelings that the word liberating evokes isn't necessarily what i have experienced but, little by little, i am being freed. i am becoming me. i am acknowledging my love of words. the written word. the verbalized word. the words so beautifully interpreted in song. <br />
here is a song that resonates within me. it is a song in which the lyrics have repeated in my mind regularly for a while now.<br />
i recently shared it with a friend. not only to have her hear it but to remind her that she too isn't alone.<br />
it is beauty, and truth, for me.<br />
and thank God for words. the words that connect us. the one's that touch us and shed light on what we can't yet see.<br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/Wl_eNu4NUVI" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/Wl_eNu4NUVI</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">It really breaks my heart</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">To see a dear old friend</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Go down in the worn old place again</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Do you know the sound</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Of a closing door?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Have you heard that sound somewhere before?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Do you wonder if she knows you anymore?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">I wrapped your love around me like a chain</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But I never was afraid that it would die</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">You can dance in a hurricane</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But only if you’re standing in the eye</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Where did you learn to walk?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Where did you learn to run?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Away from everything you love</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Did you think the bottle</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Would ever ease your pain?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Did you think that love’s a foolish game?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Did you find someone else to take the blame?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">I wrapped your love around me like a chain</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But I never was afraid that it would die</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">You can dance in a hurricane</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But only if you’re standing in the eye</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">You can dance in a hurricane</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But only if you’re standing in the eye</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">I am a sturdy soul</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">And there ain't no shame </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">In lying down in the bed you've made</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Can you fight the urge to run for another day?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">You might make it further if you learn to stay </span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">I wrapped your love around me like a chain</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But I never was afraid that it would die</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">You can dance in a hurricane</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But only if you’re standing in the eye </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">You can dance in a hurricane</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">But only if you’re standing in the eye</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
you can dance in a hurricane but only if you're standing in the eye.</div>
chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-87524602655102115172015-04-06T19:12:00.000-07:002015-04-06T19:12:20.392-07:00Dear Diceman Dear Diceman,<br />
There are many things, and many someones that "saved" me during my "darkest hour." Least of which is you. <br />
Diceman house, if you only knew. <br />
The walls you provided for me gave me more than a home. You, my friend, were my safe place. Within your walls I learned to be a mother. I learned to be a mother on my own. Within your walls I experienced loneliness like I've never imagined. Yet, those same walls provided me peace, and joy and independence I never thought was possible.<br />
I can remember those first nights we had together.<br />
Those nights I will never forget.<br />
I would venture, as far as my baby monitor would allow, and sit myself in the middle of your yard, searching for my independence, watching stars, finding my place. I was trying to gain some sense of clarity within my chaos. Then after hours out there alone, I would collapse within your walls, and slide myself under the covers in her room, not mine. <br />
But, those sessions grew shorter, my room became my haven, and I found myself busy creating a home.<br />
Addy and I grew up. By trial and error we learned. The greatest and worst of times were captured within you. But, I will choose to remember the good; the good I learned from the greatest and the worst of times, within your walls. <br />
Dear Diceman, I thank you.<br />
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<br />chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-85947003859317939882014-09-02T22:54:00.001-07:002014-09-03T04:37:15.765-07:00unjustified I've been waiting for the bottom to fall out.<br />
No, to say that I've been thinking that all was going to 'hell in a hand basket' any day now is false. In fact, I know things are good for me right now. Things are great for us right now. But I've realized that somewhere in my mind I've been anticipating the fall. The destruction. As backwards as it may sound, I entered into a relationship with the mentality that "if all does go to hell <span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px;">then I </span></span>will survive." So, as much as I've denied it, to myself, I've been anticipating the destruction of all that is good, for me.<br />
<br />
Here's what I've learned:<br />
I got married far to young, for me. I had no idea who I was or what my purpose was on this earth. But, I loved. And, I loved hard. That is what I knew how to do, and that's what I was good at. I married a man who would seemingly move mountains for me, and I was as guilty as anyone of believing that. We had our troubles. Many of them. Hell, we dated 5 years before we were married, and I "knew" him inside and out, but didn't.<br />
Then, there was this one day. <br />
And, everything changed.<br />
I will never forget that day. <br />
To be completely honest, in hindsight, it wasn't that one day, it was many days before.<br />
But there was this one day that I discovered the unthinkable.<br />
He had lied. <br />
He had been continuously lying to my family. <br />
He had been continuously lying to me. <br />
He was an addict.<br />
He was a thief.<br />
One day.<br />
Never did I know he was taking pills. Never did I know he was sneaking into my parents house to slowly steal, one by one, every piece of my mother's jewelry. Never did I know that he was leaving the office and landing at the pawn shop with yet another of our family business' piece of equipment.<br />
<br />
I believed him. <br />
I believed what he said. <br />
The excuses he made were my normal. They were what I believed.<br />
<br />
I said vows to this man, before God and everyone that could hear me. <br />
I meant them.<br />
I tried to hold them true. <br />
And, I was defeated. <br />
I don't think I've let myself realize the destruction that he caused, in it's full magnitude. I have been more prideful in the survival than realizing the damage. <br />
But, I did survive. As many people do. I kept on going, and by God, I was rewarded.<br />
I have the most amazing daughter that I get the privilege of spending every day, and every tantrum, with.<br />
A man has come into my life and given me the space to discover myself while supporting my every move. A man that has shown me what love can be. <br />
And, I have my family who have shown, by example, what it means to be a family. They have shown me what it means to love, and what it means to be a parent, and sister, and brother in law, and grandparent, and aunt and uncle.<br />
Because of that I survived. <br />
And, because of her, and them, and my effort, I will continue to survive, and grow, and learn.<br />
I was a fool to think that his actions would be forgotten. They will always be in the fabric that makes me, and the fabric that makes my daughter. <br />
But, I am a fool to think that that fabric will define me, or her.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-40259574084140212582014-08-14T22:05:00.000-07:002014-08-15T05:32:58.849-07:00motherhood : loneliness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I recently read an article published by the<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/parents/"> huffington post</a> titled "<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-rope/the-bittersweet-loneliness-of-motherhood_b_5544008.html">The Bittersweet Loneliness of Motherhood"</a>. It was one of those reads in which I didn't totally connect to at the time, yet words from it keep resonating in my mind frequently. <br />
Motherhood is lonely.<br />
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-rope/">Kate Rope</a> describes it like this: "It is great, and wonderful, and fulfilling, but it is also lonely.<br />
I feel alone because by deciding to have a child I took on ultimate responsibility for another human being, and that means I no longer have the luxury (or was it the illusion?) of letting somebody else be in charge -- my parents, my husband, a group of good friends on a girls' weekend away." <br />
Personally, I have experienced those twinges of jealousy as my friends, most of which haven't had children yet, post pictures of Thursday night happy hours or Friday night get togethers. There is a second, or 15, where I think 'man I wish I could go' or 'no one invited me'. But then she beckons my attention and all is forgotten, and ultimately I am reminded that my place is here, with her. <br />
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-rope/">Kate</a> goes on to write: "At the end of every day, when I crawl into bed next to my husband, there is a part of me that stays alert, a little part I save just for my daughters in case they need it -- a tiny, stoic sentry who never sleeps and guards her post alone." And how true her words. I am a single mother, who does not crawl in bed next to a husband every night, and feels every bit, if not more, of that responsibility and loneliness. I often feel like I need to explain to others how hard this job is. I catch myself holding back from attempting to verbalize the rollercoaster of emotions, and stress, and concern, and joy, and relief I feel every single day. And I do so because, quite frankly, no one would understand, and my words would not do any of it justice. <br />
There is the loneliness. <br />
Strangely, I know other (or all other) moms understand what I go through, but I don't hear them talk about it so my mouth says shut too. I even catch myself wondering if I have become a different sort of un-relatable breed, as crazy as that may sound.<br />
And, there is an element of single motherhood in my loneliness as well. I feel guilty even saying that, as I have an amazing family and caring boyfriend that help me more than I can say, but I do believe that there is a separate loneliness to not crawling in bed next to a husband every night. And although I do have a partner, and a great one; she is two. There must be some comfort in knowing that one other adult human being's main concern is supporting you and your child in some way, everyday. In my opinion, there is another layer to it all when you are the one who goes to bed with the days events and worry, alone. That being said, I can't not acknowledge how great my two year old partner is, and how I couldn't, nor wouldn't want to, imagine my life without her.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-rope/">Kate</a> sums up<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-rope/the-bittersweet-loneliness-of-motherhood_b_5544008.html"> her article</a> saying: <br />
"Already I have failed in some ways and excelled in others. And doing both has taught me that I can learn, get better, and survive the trials. I now know that what seems like a crisis today may be something I laugh at next week, that being perfect is impossible and that even my parents, who made my world feel so safe growing up, were winging it themselves much of the time. <br />
And I have discovered that feeling alone at times is a small price to pay for the experience of bringing another person into your life and growing up together. <br />
I wouldn't trade it. It feels like a transition my mind and body were meant to make, a threshold we were evolutionarily destined to cross. I wouldn't step back across it to the carefree, cared-for times before. OK, maybe I would for a day or a week. But I wouldn't stay."<br />
And with that she said exactly what motherhood is to me.chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-3816906707629102622014-06-30T00:00:00.000-07:002014-06-30T23:17:50.643-07:00SpeakHe called tonight.<br />
I shut the door without seeing him to the car as I do every other night, and because of that he called. He makes me speak. No, he asks me to speak. My nature, my past, has taught me, rather groomed me, not to speak. Upon my own accord, or lack of, I never gave voice to my feelings, nor my independence. My past encouraged silence: to shut a door. He acknoldges that and gives room for that. Frustrated, he left, with the door closed abruptly behind him. He thought about it, attempted to put himself in my shoes, and called. He talked. I talked. He loves me. I love him. <br />
I have never before felt able or welcomed to talk. 'Tough or uncomfortable situations are made for fixing, not talking about.' I have always stifled feelings to accommodate others, or to fix others.<br />
It is crazy, but true: I have someone in my life that is by my side, all the while pushing me forward and letting me grow.chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-9106034789479146482014-06-25T22:24:00.000-07:002014-06-26T08:33:53.786-07:00the complimentThe other day I received the greatest compliment I've ever received. <br />
I was told that "I look taller".<br />
Laugh if you must,<br />
I did. <br />
Being a staggering 5'2", with good shoes, there are bound to be countless other adjectives that can be used to describe me at any given time.<br />
So, let me tell you the story.<br />
I was running late, as I usually am. Got on the elevator, pressed 5. Entered suite 520 and immediately offered my "sorry I'm late" apology. She knows, asked me in and we sat, as we have week after week for more than a year and a half now. I on a dated and neutral couch, tissues on one side and a curled up pup on the other. She across from me in her rolling desk chair, shoes removed, holding her Tupperware and eating the lunch she's presumably tried to finish multiple times before my arrival. Although this set up is very routine, the past few weeks have seemed different; more causal; more comfortable; more at ease. We've laughed more. That is what I'd noticed. I didn't pay much mind to the decrease in tears, as they are still present, but I had been noticing the laughter. I sat, and smiled. She asked me how I was. I responded, as I always do, with I'm good. Then, following a moment of silence, she said I looked taller. I furrowed my brow and laughed. <br />
"What?"<br />
"I've noticed lately that you seem taller." <br />
"What?"<br />
'I've just noticed lately that you have come in with a presence, and peace, and confidence, that I haven't seen in you before, and it is something I've wanted for you. You should be proud."<br />
<br />
I started going to counseling shortly after I realized my marriage was over. I can distinctly remember the phone call I made to my sister, it was a text actually, and it was a difficult one. My mind was reeling, my emotions were reeling, my family was falling apart, and the absolute only thing I was sure of was that I need help; professional help. My sisters recommendation, from her friend, was a Godsend. <br />
Talking to a therapist has been such a bizarre, and amazing experience. Looking back, I am pretty sure the first six months of talking to her consisted of silence between sobbing. But, she let me experience it. In fact, I can't tell you what she did, what psychological tactics she used, nor any grand words of wisdom that made everything better for me. I can, however, tell you that I look taller. More importantly, I feel taller. <br />
I do not, nor will not, discredit myself, because I have put in a lot of work to better what is me, but I am so very grateful for her. I am so very grateful for the overwhelming feeling God bestowed on me to get help. <br />
I am still such a work in progress, but I have made such progress...and because of that I stand a little taller.chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-54116930818694078262013-12-04T15:42:00.001-08:002013-12-04T20:08:53.904-08:00Sometimes...Sometimes I wish someone else would unload the groceries. Sometimes I wish I was fixing dinner for another adult, or eating dinner with another adult. Sometimes I wish I could take a shower without a monitor or toddler in tow. Sometimes I wish I could take turns on bath or diaper duty, or pouring milk duty, or entertaining duty, or tucking her in, reading her stories, folding the laundry, washing the dishes, taking out the trash or changing the cat litter, feeding the animals, sweeping the floors, or any other of the many duties that must be done each day.<div>Sometimes I wish these things. </div><div>Not all the time. </div><div>In fact, these wishes cross my mind rarely, but there are those days that I feel overwhelmed and overly tired. </div><div>Today is one of those days. <div>However, tomorrow is a new day, and regardless of how tired or overwhelmed I am, seeing this sweet face everyday makes it all worth while.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_Gp90EGEA-956rIOazcS9Uxmf1EJJB_YXSwYMQqs3SK9yRbTtgvQBGExnBjqPPkDWBnPzBRNVEr1uTiyN4Lx-sKtVRjWz9CJ0uPmzEYSKuG-4M5QQsxXhZksJ7t13p-24Dvfg28Vt-e-/s640/blogger-image-380807187.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_Gp90EGEA-956rIOazcS9Uxmf1EJJB_YXSwYMQqs3SK9yRbTtgvQBGExnBjqPPkDWBnPzBRNVEr1uTiyN4Lx-sKtVRjWz9CJ0uPmzEYSKuG-4M5QQsxXhZksJ7t13p-24Dvfg28Vt-e-/s640/blogger-image-380807187.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div>chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-58709240042808755182013-09-30T18:45:00.001-07:002013-09-30T18:45:01.974-07:00Lunch date for oneI had a great lunch today, which may not seem exciting to some, but I was pretty impressed. I tried a little place that I've been eyeing for years, literally. For some reason there seems to be a negative stigma placed on eating alone. Although logically I have never agreed with it I've been guilty of assuming that eating alone meant you were lonely, or rather that other people would see you as such. What a silly notion, really. <div>I have held myself back from doing so many things that I want, or have wanted, to do simply because someone else didn't share the same desire, or doing it alone seemed to intimidating. Again, what a silly notion. </div><div>A week or so ago I decided to start a list of things I want, and have wanted, to do so as to create a constant reminder that those are the things I should be making time for. Trying Kosta's Greek Cafe was on the list. </div><div>Because a doctors appointment cut my work day extremely short today I had ample time to sit down and have lunch. I stifled all my hesitations and joined a cafe full of suites and couples for an amazing lunch. I went all out and Kosta's cafe did not disappoint.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggAYKeo6xNFZ0K-UfnlTTPKI1N5fOG4onldMwggJbLrMcfwfI60r8l5unAo3BuH1U-8EVk3EvoM8D7OPmzzVAbQkb3J1OuQO5zjJoJxa4b9-GvYik1AG8dV9jVQaiC9-Qez6gJtaSdj4nV/s640/blogger-image-586619139.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggAYKeo6xNFZ0K-UfnlTTPKI1N5fOG4onldMwggJbLrMcfwfI60r8l5unAo3BuH1U-8EVk3EvoM8D7OPmzzVAbQkb3J1OuQO5zjJoJxa4b9-GvYik1AG8dV9jVQaiC9-Qez6gJtaSdj4nV/s640/blogger-image-586619139.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7sbZ8Wtw8f-T1b1KNk5GIl7jkv2CFoJk1LbykujSzfWcVLQlFs-FTWI9stoJn_OqjxhLoI1I5BZvakQuGBKQJZ7a4CKCBNhyIBVpr0ct14fw87-ppB9GlFZwEnLveucvVKdlEjTjzAz0/s640/blogger-image-132464983.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7sbZ8Wtw8f-T1b1KNk5GIl7jkv2CFoJk1LbykujSzfWcVLQlFs-FTWI9stoJn_OqjxhLoI1I5BZvakQuGBKQJZ7a4CKCBNhyIBVpr0ct14fw87-ppB9GlFZwEnLveucvVKdlEjTjzAz0/s640/blogger-image-132464983.jpg"></a></div>Dolmas to start.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_BRFKE3wpck97uALVHykuOijhe9hZSDyeSGW10-D9ofI60boce4xebX56BaTBtmGGs_LyUae9M0HQpVU6m2VCZD65rZaZQq4dDAUuP35dyUzOEP5EyLSYTCQk7JFREffAKmP7sjq-M8Md/s640/blogger-image--1247509641.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_BRFKE3wpck97uALVHykuOijhe9hZSDyeSGW10-D9ofI60boce4xebX56BaTBtmGGs_LyUae9M0HQpVU6m2VCZD65rZaZQq4dDAUuP35dyUzOEP5EyLSYTCQk7JFREffAKmP7sjq-M8Md/s640/blogger-image--1247509641.jpg"></a></div>Followed by a Gyro sandwich with Greek potatoes. </div><div><br></div><div>-checked it off my list!</div>chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-39954778927946448952013-08-21T17:00:00.000-07:002013-09-02T22:40:32.590-07:00Dear Future Husband,I don't care for chocolate, and I always forget to keep flowers watered, so there is no need to waste your money on those things for me. <br>However, I do like "mix tapes" and love notes, so shower me with those often.<br>
<br>
<a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/search/label/dear%20future%20husband">Future Husband</a> posts inspired by the lovely Marli @ <a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/">chase simplicity</a>.chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-42497336123094430522013-08-18T14:10:00.001-07:002013-08-18T14:10:04.167-07:00Pictures, the final productAs I mentioned before, my talented friend <a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/">Marli</a> took pictures of Addelyn and I the other day. Here are a few of my favorites:<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimgFPMxTB4dRYqwBa8j86BzdDDp-l7o_35BAxGYYrJccdxXjGMxnpUk3KjGr7ou-BduQki9SfGXurwcPxma4fkAN06UFTmHOSCKCIeyhEHhNaXnsi7HVCDIh8lwJ7MUCe_bkYKBbCOqZBF/s640/blogger-image-1493825227.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimgFPMxTB4dRYqwBa8j86BzdDDp-l7o_35BAxGYYrJccdxXjGMxnpUk3KjGr7ou-BduQki9SfGXurwcPxma4fkAN06UFTmHOSCKCIeyhEHhNaXnsi7HVCDIh8lwJ7MUCe_bkYKBbCOqZBF/s640/blogger-image-1493825227.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhePSwyAcn3fxHFaPk-UHrpCFabOXa8GReE6guPHJd-IQzIUkvlvtaLyf64sNhzhB_vhSjqapM12_CtTwMc0C9rzHtpH8mndY0SEmOVAIeb2-htXdN9bGUg0dhT23fzCjtHWd6i15aQ62zO/s640/blogger-image--2079264137.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhePSwyAcn3fxHFaPk-UHrpCFabOXa8GReE6guPHJd-IQzIUkvlvtaLyf64sNhzhB_vhSjqapM12_CtTwMc0C9rzHtpH8mndY0SEmOVAIeb2-htXdN9bGUg0dhT23fzCjtHWd6i15aQ62zO/s640/blogger-image--2079264137.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJoShaZV5JdOtsco156rq9u7n4NP_MW1X_07KhLo1qw19hbPiT6Jo-ZN8QJbkxrORqm7g2BoYwhWTdEQrk6ijE_Hay2AT7ljbKIoPWPH1E6p8apCq48UEPWKKQKO6l2goDaVHez4yLazjS/s640/blogger-image--404169375.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJoShaZV5JdOtsco156rq9u7n4NP_MW1X_07KhLo1qw19hbPiT6Jo-ZN8QJbkxrORqm7g2BoYwhWTdEQrk6ijE_Hay2AT7ljbKIoPWPH1E6p8apCq48UEPWKKQKO6l2goDaVHez4yLazjS/s640/blogger-image--404169375.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoKvUF9riiXwizaLKeGItF-uDV20M60lER55v6YAZhczQ0mpJ-mNQLGqfZyL597UPSpqrntDUrvHIHPPxGQjlYue1bMA1YGkNNlyPEyC2zg_1RIpMzX5qfCKVkzKgKD8qiQlhuYVIzcTjo/s640/blogger-image--1981312295.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoKvUF9riiXwizaLKeGItF-uDV20M60lER55v6YAZhczQ0mpJ-mNQLGqfZyL597UPSpqrntDUrvHIHPPxGQjlYue1bMA1YGkNNlyPEyC2zg_1RIpMzX5qfCKVkzKgKD8qiQlhuYVIzcTjo/s640/blogger-image--1981312295.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDa4MpOowX5FbdDVyml7rw_MuotBpYzg8GPRgkDFkoFEIwkKqT5T4D0hd9WgWT7AdisSj87lyTDdQ-ta_ujk9g2-JtDIre6wSRm-c4OxmuSBpZfRKqkw8ReuDAoGbEcDtLwcmXc2_t4Si3/s640/blogger-image-569744092.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDa4MpOowX5FbdDVyml7rw_MuotBpYzg8GPRgkDFkoFEIwkKqT5T4D0hd9WgWT7AdisSj87lyTDdQ-ta_ujk9g2-JtDIre6wSRm-c4OxmuSBpZfRKqkw8ReuDAoGbEcDtLwcmXc2_t4Si3/s640/blogger-image-569744092.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6E-ekfN1PLTRiptdHBG9ZzXLqS2WYFyKb8FbjJ7WgWf7GkHENiCD0YU-JjR1O5yicwqhd3nrRA2fazsE0VbDiK0Q2A8RMUwAQTFblYrRO-MW7PHOCuQhq1zDUnvDPugsAxzOZPJY0Ycjh/s640/blogger-image--1830462995.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6E-ekfN1PLTRiptdHBG9ZzXLqS2WYFyKb8FbjJ7WgWf7GkHENiCD0YU-JjR1O5yicwqhd3nrRA2fazsE0VbDiK0Q2A8RMUwAQTFblYrRO-MW7PHOCuQhq1zDUnvDPugsAxzOZPJY0Ycjh/s640/blogger-image--1830462995.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-oomnFRZwX3KgXw46jVUq7UrbegE2fsTnQQ6TmAhRnNUbWb9Cr7o7FfOgz8TIJotD6mBVlyh2T0gGMqNcRqdvzMZzSwYgjOScV-hQr1CyHePFKjEa37h39JaumCJoMyYoy7AiFRXSmEnB/s640/blogger-image--1494985074.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-oomnFRZwX3KgXw46jVUq7UrbegE2fsTnQQ6TmAhRnNUbWb9Cr7o7FfOgz8TIJotD6mBVlyh2T0gGMqNcRqdvzMZzSwYgjOScV-hQr1CyHePFKjEa37h39JaumCJoMyYoy7AiFRXSmEnB/s640/blogger-image--1494985074.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr_DHJaDccyp5MGVyPHJxpGBSqUCZAlM7zKfjFutlUXdmTxo5LNos4WKoi8fjan9o7oQDiSmk1YDIdfgncjg6QrEk8twl0nsGD0s7kyX2AnQqqi1tLpSh1ORdFr9AlzWz7BY3b6XbTXkuK/s640/blogger-image--580423148.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr_DHJaDccyp5MGVyPHJxpGBSqUCZAlM7zKfjFutlUXdmTxo5LNos4WKoi8fjan9o7oQDiSmk1YDIdfgncjg6QrEk8twl0nsGD0s7kyX2AnQqqi1tLpSh1ORdFr9AlzWz7BY3b6XbTXkuK/s640/blogger-image--580423148.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3eE0tFeAKkitbLfwi3T31F29hyphenhyphenUF9Co2-UBsIMpGUzHW0KzJ8CvEnO-Ip8ndGWczNRcDqdLzsuCgYHOJkNuORFKTFVBDHusfUA91W2RP10OzHYok5OdCOpsY_w_GX06ULaKnToI1Luct4/s640/blogger-image-351766907.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3eE0tFeAKkitbLfwi3T31F29hyphenhyphenUF9Co2-UBsIMpGUzHW0KzJ8CvEnO-Ip8ndGWczNRcDqdLzsuCgYHOJkNuORFKTFVBDHusfUA91W2RP10OzHYok5OdCOpsY_w_GX06ULaKnToI1Luct4/s640/blogger-image-351766907.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizu9dvubbzp1r0Ro5OyudTw8QtbOzWe80xHrzWZ8BP4UiMkRa2cQrXgCq6z9IKaq1TxtXKsiuz0z0xghhUZ1fmTHCXGOf1GHf6BbDyxhRuu2Bf0rQsrE074BLsjhfV4OXFRMABjITiCTc0/s640/blogger-image-1776522630.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizu9dvubbzp1r0Ro5OyudTw8QtbOzWe80xHrzWZ8BP4UiMkRa2cQrXgCq6z9IKaq1TxtXKsiuz0z0xghhUZ1fmTHCXGOf1GHf6BbDyxhRuu2Bf0rQsrE074BLsjhfV4OXFRMABjITiCTc0/s640/blogger-image-1776522630.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd00UTo-dZyhQ1EWMZUJupdXqozJW6LZlOzJzVsBifhcKJ06yGHFF1HGclyiQRgrcpPKPOJqbmNTa5RxwrcZ7-SjVBb0ajhyphenhyphenPdufIbJgGLsvgOeJCs0bV4ywlEkplPOLqQfFWVZona169c/s640/blogger-image-915611635.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd00UTo-dZyhQ1EWMZUJupdXqozJW6LZlOzJzVsBifhcKJ06yGHFF1HGclyiQRgrcpPKPOJqbmNTa5RxwrcZ7-SjVBb0ajhyphenhyphenPdufIbJgGLsvgOeJCs0bV4ywlEkplPOLqQfFWVZona169c/s640/blogger-image-915611635.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpUpw9ZhhyWX5XeK699AG8lNFw-7DceSW_OYs5GLFioHEtk4pDyetdiLuJ9FbkpQqbA0SrKc2XMCmxN_pDo35oRsLoyBHCp4twYriTbt-5L1-aqAgy1oiV-fSqC70e2mxAvnQaXVq6JpiI/s640/blogger-image-988596742.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpUpw9ZhhyWX5XeK699AG8lNFw-7DceSW_OYs5GLFioHEtk4pDyetdiLuJ9FbkpQqbA0SrKc2XMCmxN_pDo35oRsLoyBHCp4twYriTbt-5L1-aqAgy1oiV-fSqC70e2mxAvnQaXVq6JpiI/s640/blogger-image-988596742.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvpzyil6OBamU9VtBvyr3V0nnyCrZoseOTunTPqstaaeWGFPCj8UMfOuDi7Yvi1EYrmBYN5JG28A0yeUAy5kKnmFvV7DzJMPyJd_c9ijeKkxCuBQMHYNXY48dCsYDu3cikGtmTzkmMf-G/s640/blogger-image--611993955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvpzyil6OBamU9VtBvyr3V0nnyCrZoseOTunTPqstaaeWGFPCj8UMfOuDi7Yvi1EYrmBYN5JG28A0yeUAy5kKnmFvV7DzJMPyJd_c9ijeKkxCuBQMHYNXY48dCsYDu3cikGtmTzkmMf-G/s640/blogger-image--611993955.jpg"></a></div>Excuse the photo dump, but I told y'all <a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/">she</a> is talented and my little bug is to cute!</div>chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-91906844593697706442013-08-18T08:09:00.001-07:002013-08-18T17:18:46.748-07:00Deserving<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7X2jn6Nk_1c0vYQQP0qdcMt9RJPSCrxNNZTaJQW2w0T0zBXovAt7wTAxy5sQKdgZd8M-bnxzY8hsd4hxS40VTAmoj2bRsZBx3K4n1xmV9Ky5ulUcRwdpSCIV-bvbwRmhk-AioSJxHLiRc/s640/blogger-image-2233166.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7X2jn6Nk_1c0vYQQP0qdcMt9RJPSCrxNNZTaJQW2w0T0zBXovAt7wTAxy5sQKdgZd8M-bnxzY8hsd4hxS40VTAmoj2bRsZBx3K4n1xmV9Ky5ulUcRwdpSCIV-bvbwRmhk-AioSJxHLiRc/s640/blogger-image-2233166.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Tell your bride that she is beautiful on your wedding day. Tell her she is beautiful when she gives birth to your child. Tell her because you feel it, because it overwhelms you and you have to let it out. You should tell her often, countless times between those two days, but especially on those two days, because really when is a woman more beautiful than on those two days?<div>Because if you don't tell her she may always question the way in which you see her. She may always question the way in which she sees herself.</div>chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-14834831928672983802013-08-18T04:58:00.001-07:002013-08-19T21:42:22.511-07:00Give thanksToday I am thankful for this cup of coffee and for my patio where I come every morning to sit and enjoy the sun rising in the quite before she wakes.<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimbmWBvLfb0nM3n46EMfvEqnXgEDiR5FFtxDyQ3ww6SdD4l92IS-Fa2V1yJVL9dUKUT5cqBBW43D9ZhR9j0NI6NkZG6MUuGgKHNfvP1kndzPgcmru7CxdOhASfJKFCajaNGT3P6M06llw/s640/blogger-image-956461873.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimbmWBvLfb0nM3n46EMfvEqnXgEDiR5FFtxDyQ3ww6SdD4l92IS-Fa2V1yJVL9dUKUT5cqBBW43D9ZhR9j0NI6NkZG6MUuGgKHNfvP1kndzPgcmru7CxdOhASfJKFCajaNGT3P6M06llw/s640/blogger-image-956461873.jpg"></a></div><br></div>chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-80220655435350760972013-08-13T21:55:00.004-07:002013-08-13T21:55:55.337-07:00PicturesYesterday morning Addy, myself, and "auntie" <a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/">Marli</a> went to the arboretum for a photo shoot. Ive been wanting to have her picture professionally taken since she turned a year old. However, professional pictures are expensive! And needless to say, I have been having trouble coming up with any extra money these days. However, I am very lucky in the friend department and one of my best friends so happens to also take some of the best photographs. So I asked if she would be willing to snap a few of my Addy and me, and thankfully she said yes.<br />
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Here are some "raw" shots she sent to me yesterday.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKPG-My9HTTxNgJYooMAf9CRlhJMBqhGWXMVcClxtFCiUwfUyBIM747RZloavp2ww4ybm5I6EcKidVA_PAvuxIx_BGP2xaEd2f3tS3zQdjJqFjefBWhPzC3mnzOQK40d5f51trNjI6oc_/s640/blogger-image-757443183.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKPG-My9HTTxNgJYooMAf9CRlhJMBqhGWXMVcClxtFCiUwfUyBIM747RZloavp2ww4ybm5I6EcKidVA_PAvuxIx_BGP2xaEd2f3tS3zQdjJqFjefBWhPzC3mnzOQK40d5f51trNjI6oc_/s640/blogger-image-757443183.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3-UiW370wSUVIrh99o1P9R10h_Enwk7-K-hjstLwYRe-0pSQmmC9oxwq78gDO4Hi0Ovqrku0DEGJCrrO7UDAtVaLAi1cQyzi65riG_foB_-y0HcF5vBhpbN-Po8C4X-OohYP3BRtGNcck/s640/blogger-image--1531490442.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3-UiW370wSUVIrh99o1P9R10h_Enwk7-K-hjstLwYRe-0pSQmmC9oxwq78gDO4Hi0Ovqrku0DEGJCrrO7UDAtVaLAi1cQyzi65riG_foB_-y0HcF5vBhpbN-Po8C4X-OohYP3BRtGNcck/s640/blogger-image--1531490442.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH5FnTt9nrO2RoCR4bhQjNYO609v14DZC6yQPgih1wmnXwL7Hgy_BXn_L1ESWdAVnjZH3xqTURV0nAEnWmatX__QPMxpKkbpqofGmUyClc2bXDxIM_IFdn-bdvbY3zf1eggmCEtmXZuBfz/s640/blogger-image--1308979097.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH5FnTt9nrO2RoCR4bhQjNYO609v14DZC6yQPgih1wmnXwL7Hgy_BXn_L1ESWdAVnjZH3xqTURV0nAEnWmatX__QPMxpKkbpqofGmUyClc2bXDxIM_IFdn-bdvbY3zf1eggmCEtmXZuBfz/s640/blogger-image--1308979097.jpg" /></a></div>
Isn't <a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/">she</a> talented, and isn't my little bug precious?!?!</div>
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chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-73267228002902158082013-08-06T08:05:00.000-07:002013-08-06T23:40:16.744-07:00The body<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig17OwhGSPxLyU6_KWiE7AmKDu20pDzFbw5wQqBDgvFvtn-DVVxFameRgO0ECQ7-lq-oBZk_g5nE-lc7QHzmakvdXADqKcAb31JRcO0UW1EQR1lH_kEmgOS6jPQ16a32_Mbh7oPZ2HOO1U/s640/blogger-image--515652579.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig17OwhGSPxLyU6_KWiE7AmKDu20pDzFbw5wQqBDgvFvtn-DVVxFameRgO0ECQ7-lq-oBZk_g5nE-lc7QHzmakvdXADqKcAb31JRcO0UW1EQR1lH_kEmgOS6jPQ16a32_Mbh7oPZ2HOO1U/s640/blogger-image--515652579.jpg"></a></div><br></div>I wouldn't consider myself a runner, nor a cyclist, nor an avid health nut. I still have to talk myself into working out 9 times out of 10, and there are plenty of excuses I've succumbed to that have kept me on my couch. But.... I like to run, and I greatly enjoy riding a bike and I even eat healthy things on occasion. Above all else, the feeling I get after a physical activity of any kind is completely unique and well worth the sweat. <br>
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I enjoy being active. I enjoy being outside. And, as crazy as it may sound, I like to sweat.<br>
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The human body has always intrigued me. It is a wondrous thing. How it works together, how intricately everything is connected and how mysterious some aspects of it remain. Today, I am thankful for my body. Although it may not be the shape I would love for it to be, nor look as I dream it to, it is mine. And this body has carried me many places and continued working and pushing me forward even when I felt as though it couldn't. So from now on I am going to try and think of its strengths rather than its "weaknesses". </div>
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chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-56604936179694270232013-08-06T08:03:00.002-07:002013-08-06T08:16:06.867-07:00Dear Future Husband,<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeaQdNaMISRqRGB5BEaYW3H8WKq_zWl08CfkjL-2XOUWjouldvX1b3a0tYsy-WPY2olq1IUAgj_NSJSi7v43ccWvk_Uyx4jybMRZbMgO0pZ6sjvUw5FebQfjSX501NysIOhdWtfWoLdHdi/s1600/suprise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeaQdNaMISRqRGB5BEaYW3H8WKq_zWl08CfkjL-2XOUWjouldvX1b3a0tYsy-WPY2olq1IUAgj_NSJSi7v43ccWvk_Uyx4jybMRZbMgO0pZ6sjvUw5FebQfjSX501NysIOhdWtfWoLdHdi/s320/suprise.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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Please plan nights out on the town for us. Take me to that "hole-in-the-wall" for burgers and beers, or take me to the movies and follow it up with late night ice cream. And please do so without my knowing because as much as I say I don't like surprises, really, I kind of love them.</div>
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<a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/search/label/dear%20future%20husband"><em>Future Husband</em></a><em> post inspired by the beautiful Marli @ </em><a href="http://www.chasesimplicity.blogspot.com/"><em>chase simplicity</em></a><em>.</em></div>
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<em>photo found <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeshderox/5952081129/sizes/o/in/photostream/">here</a>, rights <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeshderox/">reserved </a></em></div>
chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-70230199384182943262013-06-28T10:57:00.000-07:002013-06-28T10:57:41.972-07:00firsts<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">my little one started "school". well, she started mother's day out which is pretty much the same as school in my "first time mommy book". really, it is just another reminder of how fast she is growing up. she is no longer a dependent baby, she is very much an independent toddler. we arrived at "school" and after a quick hesitation she reached her little arms to her teacher and didn't look back. i was told she had a good first day and i sure hope that's true. as much as i didn't want to leave her that morning i was so proud to watch her go. she has seen a lot of change in her short life thus far, and a few months ago she would have never let go of my grasp, but she has settled. she is happy. she is comfortable and confident, and for that i am so very proud.</span>
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chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-5734100293681366602013-05-12T08:11:00.002-07:002013-05-12T08:35:31.285-07:00my momma always told me<div style="text-align: center;">
my momma always told me:</div>
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"you'll understand when you have kids"</div>
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she always told me that she loved me, she showed me that she was there to support me regardless, she provided me an open and safe home, and gave me her friendship.</div>
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today and everyday i am thankful for my momma.</div>
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happy mother's day to you mom, and all those mommas out there that spend all of their days providing for their babies.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<em>four generations </em></div>
chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-45808958264979212602013-05-04T07:42:00.001-07:002013-05-04T07:42:57.826-07:00mothersomeone recently asked me what the best part of being a mom was. <br />
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<br />
a great and impossible question.<br />
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my immediate answer was simple and in no way efficiently explained the best part of being a mom. <br />
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i have been thinking of that question since. <br />
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becoming a mother completely changed my life. as i'm sure all other mothers can attest once your child is born everything changes. for me it wasn't a dramatic, immediate burst that i had always assumed it would be, it was simply an instantaneous and subtle shift into a new existence. everything was just different. my thoughts, my concerns, my actions, my feelings, my everything.<br />
her dependence on me consumes all that i am, and i love it. being her mother is now what defines me. it is who i am, what i do, and it is the most difficult and wonderful existence.<br />
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so, to answer the impossible question, the best part of being a mom is having her in my life. she makes everything infinitely better<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOQRSRy596Onog17o4lZM9OiP3WzZpY5ogot_n6Ds_8xTIIY4CJmdWOWrNsGueovlVRpHK9pXCK9eg6bmeoOIyY38iQXSgx29oWrjMe4my7_wYoHSSyBGBZvn55R51y_GNsKIfcmAwQ-7H/s1600/addy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" lua="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOQRSRy596Onog17o4lZM9OiP3WzZpY5ogot_n6Ds_8xTIIY4CJmdWOWrNsGueovlVRpHK9pXCK9eg6bmeoOIyY38iQXSgx29oWrjMe4my7_wYoHSSyBGBZvn55R51y_GNsKIfcmAwQ-7H/s320/addy.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-35026502214882165252013-03-29T20:42:00.001-07:002013-03-29T20:56:36.493-07:00my peopleThere was a time that I thought hopeless thoughts and my lungs couldn’t find air.<br />
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There was a time that my world fell apart. <br />
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It <em><strong>felt</strong></em> as though my world fell apart.<br />
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There was a time wherein what I believed to be true in this world was not.<br />
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What I believed my life to be it was not.<br />
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I was sad.<br />
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I am sad.<br />
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I was mad.<br />
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I am mad.<br />
**********************<br />
Time and time again I have been picked up.<br />
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Someone has provided me with hope, with love.<br />
<br />
Many someones. Time and time again.<br />
<br />
I have people.<br />
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I have good people.<br />
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Great and wonderful people.<br />
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People who found the air for me and helped me breathe.<br />
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I am thankful for those people<br />
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*there are plenty of people not pictured. You know who you are, and I thank you.
<br />chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-39720135757570994632013-03-12T16:28:00.001-07:002013-03-12T16:28:37.927-07:00<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghQXGypNmwkcOG_DlePu4zEI2oHA843qS7RZZ2qgA9P0GpVkodOd2A3lPS84mIwnEm-iZofWEJrH4RvacstLHsdmV7It378agj0AvPGBUDVuqWUY6PmLWBqLX-6ret6ExL1RjeP05b7SAv/s1600/keep+your+head+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" psa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghQXGypNmwkcOG_DlePu4zEI2oHA843qS7RZZ2qgA9P0GpVkodOd2A3lPS84mIwnEm-iZofWEJrH4RvacstLHsdmV7It378agj0AvPGBUDVuqWUY6PmLWBqLX-6ret6ExL1RjeP05b7SAv/s320/keep+your+head+up.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that time keeps moving</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that you must keep moving to</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that having a child makes you stronger</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned what true heartbreak feels like</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that the heart is a wondrous thing, it can be broken and full at the same time</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that sometimes all you can do is cry </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned to find comfort in the morning’s arrival </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned to depend on the hope that a new day brings</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that a smile from your baby cures a multitude of ills</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that I now live for her</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that the future is uncertain</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that happiness is a choice, and a hard one at times</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that my friends are also my family</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that my family will pick me up when I have fallen</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that love isn’t always enough</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Ive learned that I was wrong</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning that I am the only one that controls my happiness</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning that I need to work on improving myself</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to be a better mother, friend, sister and daughter</span></div>
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to ask for help</span></div>
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to sit in silence</span></div>
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning that time passes to quickly</span></div>
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to juggle it all</span></div>
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning that I have no control over his actions</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning that you shouldn’t expect certain behaviors</span></div>
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to seek contentment in each moment</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to trust my instincts</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to embrace change</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Im learning to let it be</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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</span>chels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1295270247705885925.post-84190614366125579862012-05-21T11:31:00.000-07:002012-05-21T11:31:17.650-07:00today is the day<br />
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Dear Addelyn,<br />
Today is the day you are coming into this world. Today is the day that you will forever change my life. Your daddy and I have been looking forward to your birth for so long now. I hope I have provided you a good "home" over these past ten months. I hope to provide you a good home for the rest of your life. It has been an honor carrying you with me, feeling you move and grow inside of me. You are truly a blessing. I can't wait to watch you grow up, to watch you become the beautiful woman I know you will be. Always know that your momma loves you unconditionally. I have loved you since you were just a thought, a desire, in my mind. I promise to support you, to nurture you and encourage your independence. I will always be here for you. I will always be your mother. Thank you for already amazing me in so many ways. I love you and can't wait to start our journey together. <br />
Love Always,<br />
Mom<br />
<br />
Dear Addelyn,<br />
As I am writing this letter to you, your mommy and I are just a few hours from meeting you for the very first time. Apparently you are a pretty big girl, you mommy has to deliver you via c-section. For the past nine months we have worked very hard to make sure that when you come home in a few days everything is perfect!! I could barely sleep last night because I was so excited for today. I can't wait to see you and Mommy together, I think you are going to look just like her!<br />
I know that you won't remember today but there are so many family members and friends that are so excited to meet you. I promise you that I will take care of you and your mom every day of my life. I am a very lucky man to have you both. <br />
The Dr. days that you have a lot of hair and weighed 7 lbs & 15 oz last Wednesday. I can't wait to see you in person. You have a bunch of cute clothes to wear, I have already got you some Dallas Cowboys and Dallas Mavericks onesies and dresses. I have a feeling that you will love sports and especially love our Mavs & Cowboys. <br />
I love you so much Addy!! I can't wait to watch you grow up and become an amazing woman.<br />
P.S. no dating till you are at least 30!!<br />
XOXOXO, <br />
Dadchels.e.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03126455522040531681noreply@blogger.com4