silence

She woke up alone and uncomfortable, again.  

The dark of a day before it begins shining through her window.  

Sleep is often escaping these days.  

Her belly and the baby inside it make difficult to roll over and get up.  

Yet, 
she rises, 
slowly, 
to her feet.  

Down the stairs and out of the door she sees him.  

The same wrought iron chair she has found him in many pre-dawns before.  

This time, like most times, she just watches, feeling the familiar sinking of sadness. 

The weight of unasked and unanswered questions heavy inside her.  

Uncomfortable and alone she climbs the stairs, returning to the covers that warm her and the silence she's grown accustomed to.  

Even with the fullness of life inside her, she has never felt so alone.

Dear Universe

Yesterday I asked for a favor, from the Universe.  
I opened myself up to the World, I let go, and I asked to be shown what is in my highest interest.  I relinquished my control, and asked for a sign.  My bargain was that I would be open, I would be willing, and that I would pay attention.
Later in the day I received an email from Creative Oasis.  These weekly emails are always read and often pushed aside.  This particular email explained a Creative Color Walk.  Images in an assortment of reds filled the page along with the description of her Color walk.  She chose red and walked about, paying attention, and photographing all things of her color.
|Paying attention.|

The Universe provided me something that I was meant to see, and today I was willing to see it.  

Here is my Color Walk in images.  I chose white.

And, as it turns out white contains all wavelengths of visible light, encompasses all color, symbolizes beginnings and renewal, purity and innocence.  I chose white not because of those things, white chose me because of them.


I've been on what I am going to lovingly refer to as a Search for my Creative Soul; for my Self, for a while now.  Once I was ready to take physical steps 'into' this journey (last year) I took my first creative class led by the Creative Oasis, where I learned that there is always time that can be borrowed, and that self care is necessary, not shameful. I am currently taking a course on The Artist's Way by Julie Cameron called Creating with Heart which is teaching and inspiring me to open myself up,to do the work, and to be brave. I am also half way through a 12 week Enneagram Journey class which is helping me become a more healthy Helper.  All that to say that doing the work, trusting the process, and opening myself up to the Universe is what has provided me creative ideas and has led me back to writing; something that I love and have missed so.